22 Across
by overtlycovert
Summary: Being in no mood to work on his report, Mulder had a rather creative plan on how to avoid it. Sillyfic.


_DISCLAIMER: X-files is not mine. Not now, not ever. *whimpers*_

* * *

Scully entered their basement office, half-hoping that by some miracle, she'd see her partner working on his report. But instead, it seemed that Agent Mulder had other plans for that day.

"Morning Scully," he greeted her, not taking his eyes off the newspaper sprawled on his desk.

"Mulder, what are you doing?"

"Searching the paper for anything out of the ordinary," he replied nonchalantly.

Scully raised a questioning eyebrow. "In the entertainment page?"

"Fine, you caught me. I was working on the Tuesday crossword puzzle."

Scully frowned, folding her arms across her chest as her partner rubbed his chin using one end of his pen.

"You're supposed to be working on your report," she reminded him.

"Don't worry. I'll work on it as soon as I'm done with this puzzle."

"Mulder…"

"It won't take long. There's only one item left, after all," he assured her.

No response from Scully.

"Please?"

"No," Scully said, her tone firm.

"Pretty please?" Mulder repeated.

"No."

_Time to bring out the big guns_, he thought.

"Pretty please with a cherry, some chocolate syrup and sprinkles on top?" he asked in a sing-song voice, pulling off his best imitation of the infamous puppy dog eyes. For all the years they've been working together, the trick had never failed him once- and that day was no exception.

Scully rolled her eyes. "Fine." She glanced at her wristwatch, which read 8:35. "But you better do it in the next five minutes. You don't want to get on Skinner's nerves again."

"Who does?"

Five minutes passed and the white boxes remained blank.

"3, 2, 1. Times up."

"Wait, I think I got it! Oh wait, that's not right," Mulder said, heaving a sigh.

He stared at the blank boxes dejectedly. "Stupid puzzle."

Intrigued by how a person of his intellect would get so worked up over a single item, Scully walked over to the desk to see if she could help him out.

"Which one? Let me see."

He ran his finger through the paper, stopped at the clue for 22 across and read it aloud. "22 across. A six-letter word which means to rot or decompose. Starts with 'M' and the third letter is 'L'."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Mulder pulled a somber expression, raised his hand and pointed at his face.

"Does this look like I'm joking to you?"

Scully placed a finger to her lip, and then nodded slightly. "In a way, yes."

They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

"Molder."

"Yes Scully?"

"No, the answer is molder."

Mulder looked at Scully, then the paper, and then shifted his gaze back to his partner.

"I don't think so."

"It's molder, with an 'o' not a 'u'," she tried to clarify.

"No, it's not. There's just no way it can be that simple."

"Yes, it is."

"It's not."

"It is!"

"Not."

If she didn't do anything, this silly exchange of theirs would last the whole morning, Scully figured.

"Give me that pen." More than eager to put a close to it, she leaned on the desk and forcibly pulled the pen from Mulder's hand. She then spun the newspaper towards her and scribbled down the answer.

"There. Now can you work on your re-"

"Hey, you spelled my name wrong!"

"No, I did not spell your name wrong."

"Yes, you did. See?" Mulder grabbed the paper, held it up and pointed at the boxes in question.

"If your name, as you insist, was the answer to this puzzle, then the description should've been something along the lines of spooky or sorry son of a bitch," she quickly retorted, a slight grin forming on her lips.

"With the latter being more likely, of course. Don't you think so Agent Mulder?" she added.

"Very funny," Mulder replied, sarcasm trailing in his voice. "But you still spelled my name wrong."

"Damn you, Mulder."

Her patience was ebbing away with each passing minute- and it seemed their banter was far from over.

"You look so cute when you're annoyed."

She'd know _that_ look of his anywhere. Luckily, she knew quite well how to handle it.

"Thank you for the compliment, Fox William."

"Haha, Dana Katherine."

It was Scully's turn to smile.

"Too bad I don't have any problems when it comes to middle-naming."

Scully stared at him, a smile (or was that a grin?) plastered on her face, making Mulder feel quite uneasy.

"What's with that look?"

"Strange, but you actually look…how should I put this, cute when you're annoyed."

"Scully, if you're going to make a comeback, you should at least try to be original."

"You started it."

"I hate how you always somehow manage to turn the tables around."

"That's just the way things are. I've got to admit, though, that this aversion you made was very well thought out. You almost had me there for a second," Scully admitted. "Now go and get started with your report while you still have time."

"But I still haven't finished my puzzle!"

This has gone far enough, Scully thought. She reached into her coat's inner pocket.

"Scully, what are you doing with that taser?"

She ignored his question and continued walking towards him.

"SCULLY?!"

She stopped right in front of him and flicked a switch on the machine. The buzzing noise it made was far from comforting. Mulder gripped the armrests of his chair, as if he were holding on for dear life.

They say desperate times call for desperate measures- and she couldn't get any more desperate if she tried.

"Trust me, this is for your own good."

Mulder swallowed hard._ And I thought the time she threw away my packs of sunflower seeds was bad enough._

* * *

_Whew, finally finished my first attempt at X-files ficwriting. I think you'd agree with me that this fic borders heavily on the insanely random side. xD_

_I have a bunch of other ideas running around my head, but I want to see how this is received first. Feedback is appreciated!_

_THANKS FOR READING!_


End file.
